Thursday, January 23, 2014

LOVE DARE DAY 13

                                         81bbd878561da032b907a270c254610b
                                              ~DAY 13~LOVE FIGHTS FAIR~
 If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3-25

Conflict in marriage is inevitable! Even the closest couples have differences!
We are all imperfect, so the closeness in  marriage is going to expose all of those imperfections!  This isn't about avoiding conflicts but how to deal with them in a healthy way.
During a conflict we are at our worst,  and this could cause the most heartbreaking damage. Our anger is hotter and our words more venomous! But love steps in and changes things! Married couples who tend to work through their conflicts tend to be closer!   
But how? The wisest way is to fight clean by establishing rules of engagement. Basically there are two types of boundaries for dealing wit conflict: "we"  boundaries and "me" boundaries.

"We" boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand!!
These could include:
1. We will never mention divorce.
2.We will never fight in front of our children.
3.We will never go to bed angry with each other.

"Me" Boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own.
These may  be some of the most  effective examples!
1. I will listen first  before speaking.
2. I will deal with my own issues up-front.
3. I will speak gently and keep my voice down.
Fighting fair means changing your weapons.

                                                                 ~TODAY'S DARE~
  TALK WITH YOUR SPOUSE ABOUT ESTABLISHING HEALTHY RULES OF ENGAGEMENT.  IF YOUR MATE IS NOT READY FOR THIS, THEN WRITE OUT YOUR OWN PERSONAL RULES TO "FIGHT" BY.  RESOLVE TO ABIDE BY THEM WHEN THE NEXT DISAGREEMENT OCCURS.
If your spouse participated with you, what was their response?
What rules did you write for yourself?

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